Lost
by Stacey-Marie
Summary: um little pov piece about yakumo the night pai dissappears in hong kong "He may not want to, but what if...what if…Pai won’t give up. She will fight until she or Benares is dead. But of the two of them only she can die in this fight and I will go with


Title: Lost

Author: Stacey-Marie

Pairings: Yakumo + Pai

Warnings: angst

Disclaimers: 3x3 Eyes and all of its characters does not belong to me. It belongs to Yuzo Takada, Pioneer, and some other people, and I am not one of those. ::raised eyebrow:: wha~t you think just because I've hidden Takuhi under my bed you can!…oh! umm ::shuffles feet:: well they're not mine dammit and I get no money out of this all I have of value is my Yakumo plushie. Rather pointless to sue me so you can get a plushie you manufacture by the millions…dontcha think? Please? I happen to like it you know…

Note: this takes place after the fourth episode where Pai disappears…narg this is my first non-GW fic so please be nice…pretty please?

Lost

"Hey where's Pai?"

"Nuh?" hic "Shee wash ri' here just now… thas' strange…" (1) 

It takes a minute before Mei-Hsing's words can sink in through the alcohol. I blink stupidly trying to clear away the daze as the memory of Benares' face in Takuhi's dead chest comes back to me in Pai's absence. Starting off towards her room my footing is a bit unsure but by the time I reach it the panic has chipped through the fog until I am totally sober. Somehow even as I open the door I know what I'll see.

It creaks open in the way that the everyday squeaks of all doors are magnified when your senses are overcome with sheer terror.

"P-pai?" I call out vainly to the empty room hoping, praying that I am imagining the note on her bed (2). That she'll call out from the closet saying that she had spilled something on her dress and needed to change quickly. Of course she doesn't and it is only me, the note and the wind.

I walk forward and read the note through a haze. I know she's gone to fight him and I know she's not coming back. There's no point in trying to kill a wu I've learned and such a powerful one at that. He won't kill her, I know that much from his little message but Benares did say that he'd make her sleep and that she'd be taken from me. 

No! No I won't let him have her! I crush the note with my fist in my anger. I can feel my whole body shaking at the thought of him touching her, of Pai being hurt, of me losing her. Quickly, I turn and dash as fast as I can to the lab where the Ningen no Zou is being kept. I know Sanjiyan would never be so foolish as to hand the statue over to Benares so that he could resurrect Kaiyan Wang but Pai…Pai might give in to his threat to kill us all. What is a statue in comparison to our lives? It's still there and I let out the breath I'd been holding for the short run here. The relief that floods through me is quickly washed away by the disappointment that Pai wasn't here. I ahd hope that maybe she would be, maybe I could find her here trying to get through the glass. But no she is gone and I …Aberdeen. He said for her to come to Aberdeen.

The second my mind registers the thought my feet are flying across the floorboards and out the door. There is no time for shoes or anything of that nature; she left the party only moments before I did there can be no more delays. In all the time I've wasted she has a head start and that is not counting her powers as a sanjiyan. The thought that I could get there before her never crossed my mind but if I could reach her…

If I could just reach her I might convince her to come back, to flee with me if necessary. She can't kill him and he has so much power. I've tasted that power, felt it in the air when he suddenly appeared, felt it when he slammed me into the wall. I don't know if Pai would be able to withstand that kind of power. I don't even know where Aberdeen is, but I don't care. All I know is that I need to atleast reach the city. My pace is frantic as I run along the small dirt road that wraps itself along the cliff as it winds its way down to the city. The small stones cut my feet, but I don't care. I know I can heal. But I won't ever heal again if he kills her. He may not want to, but what if...what if…Pai won't give up. She will fight until she or Benares is dead. But of the two of them only she can die in this fight and I will go with her.

The thought that I might die should fuel me to run faster but I find that I can't. The thought of Pai being hurt is enough to push me to my limits. She has my soul inside her, yes, she took it that night in Tokyo but if I would give it to her if it was in my power. I love her too much to think of it any other way. It is not me that matters anyway, only her. 

The ground shakes and I stumble. I look up to see a brilliant white light growing from the wharves. It expands, followed by a wind which knocks me to my knees. Then comes the sound: the explosion and with it the buildings begin to fall. It was her I know it!

"Paiiiiiiiiiiii!!!"

Once again I am on my feet, running and gasping through my tears. I know where to go now. To the harbor, past the ankle deep water running in the streets, past the ring of flames from the toppled buildings: to the harbor…to Pai. And that is where they found me. That is where they found me sobbing and stumbling through the wreckage of the piers calling her name. That is where they guided me home from after hours of searching among the pilings. That is where they found me, but we have not found Pai. We have not found her and I am lost. They tell me that if I am still alive then so is she, but am I really alive now? If I had one there would be a gaping hole in my soul where she used to be. But I don't and I am dead. I am a dead soulless thing merely existing. I don't know what to do. I am dead inside, but where is my Pai?

It was after two days in this state that I finally figured it out. If Benares, a wu, could possess such awesome magicks as to defeat Pai, then I could too. Somewhere on this earth her body was very much alive and in possession of my soul. She is immortal like me and it is my job to find her. I have eternity if need be but I WILL find her. But first, first I must go to Tibet, to the land which she traveled out of seeking me. There I will learn the magicks of Benares so that I can bring her back and protect her as I could not do at Aberdeen. I will be a fitting wu when I find her again. Then…then we will become human, I will grant her her greatest desire, and in return maybe just maybe she will forgive me, forgive me for being weak. When we buried Takuhi she told me that we must prepare, WE, and yet she left me behind. I was not strong enough to do anything but get in her way, but when I find her again that will not be the case. I will search as she searched for me and I will find her as she found me. Then we will find our humanity. Maybe then I could stop this feeling. With Pai here I won't be lost…lost maybe she is still searching for me maybe that is why I am lost, because she has yet to find me this time.

Feeling the none too gentle rumble of the train beneath me I look at my first, last and only picture of the center of my life. Yes, that is it. We must find each other to stop being lost.

(1) these first two lines are taken directly from my book 3x3 Eyes: Flight of the Demon…

(2)I know she left her staff in the animation but in the book there's a note so I'm sticking to it since it leaves me more angst…muwahahahahaha. That is all.


End file.
